Wanting to change yourself and better yourself is a beautiful and inspiring thing to do. Setting goals is really about changing yourself for the long-term. Goals aren’t short-term, quick-fix things; they are fixed destinations that show the world who you want to become or what you want to achieve.
Yet just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean you or your situations will automatically change for the better. If you know that you constantly break promises to yourself (polls show 88% of resolutions fail within the first month), even though you’re so geared up to make changes on the first of January, it’s time to think, plan and prepare to ensure more chance of success.
Here’s what we consider to be the most important things to actually change your behaviour for a better you:
Pick only one resolution
Sticking to more than one resolution is near impossible for your brain to handle. Instead, analyse everything you’ve thought about to change and pick the one thing that’s most important for you. Motivation gives you an initial spurt of energy to get up and get moving, but it’s just not sustainable. Many resolutions are based on what you think you should be doing, rather than what you really want to be doing. Then, let go of everything else.
Make your goal measurable and realistic
The more specific they are, the better chance you have of succeeding. Resolutions should be clear and focused and require an actual plan of action. Maybe you want to be fitter but how are you going to do it? How many times a week will you exercise? What exercise will you do?
Take baby steps – make it a tiny habit
Now that you’ve picked one resolution, make sure to break down as far as you can, to the simplest task possible. Clearing out your cupboards to start living healthily is not good for you physically or mentally. Creating a drastic shock to your body and lifestyle will only make you crave all of the things you’re trying to leave behind. Find ways to include elements of your intended goal into your life slowly by removing unhealthy items gradually. Set yourself a challenge to complete within 30 days to start with and build it up from there.
Hold yourself accountable for what you want to change
Tell others (who you know will support you) or write it down. This will have a significant impact on your behavior. If you tell some of your friends and family about the new habit you’ve created, you are much more likely to stick to it. Writing it down also makes you more likely to succeed and increases your overall happiness.
Focus on the carrot, not the stick – positive feedback and rewards increase your chance of success
Reward yourself for any progress towards your goal, preferably with something that won’t set back your progress. If you’ve worked hard and lost 5lbs in weight, indulge in some retail therapy or a candlelit bath, as payment, not a piece of chocolate cake.
Realise you may well fail at some point but keep at it
Some people lack belief in themselves and in their potential. In their mind, if they fail, everyone will think negatively of them. We all have times when we eat the wrong foods, but it is important to be aware of your response to this initial failure. At this point, many individuals think, “What the hell, my healthy eating goal is already ruined for the day, I may as well enjoy dessert for lunch!” Instead of responding to this “what the hell” effect, correct the behaviour and make a healthy choice. It’s so much easier when you are aware of your emotional responses. You can achieve anything you set your mind to. Believe in yourself and your abilities and others will, too.
Quick tip
Strong willpower is not a character trait
One very important and comforting last fact is that having strong willpower is not something we’re born with. So just like our bicep muscle has to be trained in order to grow stronger, so does the prefrontal cortex in your brain. The key is to not try to start lifting too heavy too soon.
Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? How are you planning on approaching them? We’d love to hear your thoughts and/or progress in the comments.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015
Alison x
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